The Impact of Roasting: From Banter to Hurtful Words -A Deep Dive by Vilia Y Reynolds
"From playful banter to hurtful words, the impact of roasting runs deeper than we realise."
Join me as I delve into this seemingly harmless tradition's lasting effects and repercussions.
Once upon a time, in a small community, there existed a tradition of engaging in good-natured banter and playful teasing. This custom was initially intended to foster a sense of camaraderie and connection among individuals. It began with positive intentions, bringing smiles to faces and creating a feeling of belonging. However, the line between light-hearted humour and hurtful comments became increasingly blurred as time passed.
Some individuals within the community started crossing boundaries and making remarks that cut deep into the hearts of others. What was once intended as a harmless joke turned into something devoid of laughter. The targets of these roasts began to feel the sting, and their spirits were dampened. The continuous teasing only fueled anger, resentment, and profound hurt feelings. The initial positive intention behind the banter was overshadowed by the pain it caused.
The negative impact of roasting had a ripple effect that penetrated deep into the lives of those involved. The individuals being targeted internalised the harsh words and judgments directed at them. The negativity they received merged with their inner thoughts, giving rise to a swirl of negative emotions within their minds.
Unhealthy coping mechanisms and behaviours became their way of dealing with the constant exposure to hurtful remarks and negative energy. It is crucial to recognise that the negative flow of roasting stems from unresolved negative
emotions and feelings within the individuals who engage in such behaviour. Their expressions of ridicule and criticism serve as an outlet for their internal struggles. However, this flow finds its way into the lives of others, affecting their self-esteem and distorting their perception of reality.
Roasting, particularly among children and teenagers aged 8-17, is meant to be a form of playful banter or teasing where humorous and often sarcastic remarks are made about each other. It should remain consensual and light-hearted, with everyone involved understanding and appreciating the humour. The intention is not to hurt or insult anyone but to create a fun and inclusive social environment. However, it is essential to understand the potential negative impact of roasting when it becomes hurtful and judgmental. Living under the weight of negative roasting can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy, undermining one's sense of self-worth. Breaking free from this cycle and adopting healthier coping mechanisms becomes increasingly challenging.
Recently, there has been a concerning rise in roasting among schools in our community and neighbouring towns. It has become an accepted culture that has yet to realise the full impact of our words. Roasting has become prevalent among peers, siblings, parents, and even divorced parents roasting in the presence of their children. Promoting empathy, understanding, and open communication within the community is crucial in addressing this issue. Individuals should reflect on the impact of their words and strive to understand how they can affect others. Emphasising positive and uplifting interactions can help foster a more compassionate environment. Creating a culture that values kindness, respect, and support can nurture healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self. Striking a balance between good-natured banter and hurtful comments is
essential for maintaining a positive and uplifting atmosphere. Regularly assessing the impact of our banter and encouraging feedback from community members ensures that the practice remains positive and uplifting for everyone involved.
Furthermore, it is essential to acknowledge that some children may not know how to connect with their emotions and resort to explosive anger or fawning to cope with their pain. Others may introvert their feelings or hide behind games and social media, using freezing mode to numb their pain over time. None of these coping mechanisms heal them emotionally. Instead, they continue to suffer until one day when they are triggered and unable to break down the mental block. This can lead to being labelled as the talk of the town, causing further heartbreak, self-doubt, and the development of negative thoughts and self-destructive behaviour.
In conclusion, while roasting one another may initially have positive intentions, it can quickly turn hostile and hurtful. Continuous teasing and harsh remarks can cause anger, resentment, and a breakdown in self-esteem. Promoting empathy, understanding, and open communication is crucial to breaking the cycle and fostering a more positive and supportive community.
Parents, please ask your child the meaning of "roast"; you'll be surprised.
Here is a testimonial from one of the parents.
"With great concern, a broken heart, hands in my hair over my child who wasn't himself and on that specific day couldn't stop crying and also couldn't speak a word to me from always being "happy-go-lucky," singing in the shower, and joking with this little brother to one that cries about everything, I sought drastic answers and help. Today, my child is "happy-go-lucky." again—this mother's heartbeat joyfully when he sang in the shower one night. My child is saved; I would never have come to the truth myself, no matter how open and honest my son and our relationship was; it was too much for his heart to bear and process in his young mind! Bullying was the problem - I saw how my child changed into a different person with a lot of pain and darkness in a few months, showing no interest in anything and crying about everything. But Today, with a grateful heart, I have my child back; he is again my strong and resilient iron man as I know him. Thankful is an understatement from this mother and child's hearts. Thank you very much.