When yesterday’s pain and tomorrow’s fears take us away from today

By Vilia Y. Reynolds

Sometimes we are physically present, yet emotionally somewhere else.

Our bodies are here, but our thoughts are revisiting yesterday or anticipating tomorrow.

We may be sitting with someone we love, going about our daily responsibilities, or enjoying a peaceful moment, yet something within us remains occupied elsewhere.

A painful memory. An unresolved conversation. A betrayal. A loss. A fear of what might happen next.

And without recognising it, we begin missing the life unfolding right in front of us.

Trauma can draw us backwards. Anxiety can push us forwards.

And somewhere between yesterday and tomorrow, we may lose touch with today.

When Yesterday Still Feels Like Today

One of the realities I encounter in trauma facilitation is that people can be physically present in a counselling room while emotionally revisiting experiences from their past.

Someone may be remembering an accident.

Another may be carrying the emotional pain of rejection, abandonment or betrayal.

Someone else may be experiencing grief that still feels overwhelming.

Although the original event has passed, certain memories, sensations or reminders can awaken strong emotional responses.

Our nervous system may react to reminders of danger even when we are no longer in that same situation.

And when this happens, the emotions of yesterday can feel remarkably close to the experiences of today.

We may feel afraid when we are no longer in immediate danger.

We may become defensive when someone has not intended to hurt us.

We may withdraw from people who have done nothing to reject us.

Not necessarily because we are making a conscious choice to live in the past, but because parts of our experience may still need understanding and care.

And sometimes we do not recognise just how much of our emotional energy is being spent responding to what has already happened.

When Tomorrow Takes Over Today

But yesterday is not the only place where we can become emotionally occupied.

Sometimes we live so far ahead of ourselves that tomorrow begins to consume today.

What if something goes wrong? What if I cannot cope? What if I lose someone I love? What if the same thing happens again?

We rehearse conversations that have not happened.

We imagine difficulties that may never arrive.

We prepare ourselves for disappointment, rejection or loss.

Of course, planning for the future is a healthy part of life.

But there is a difference between preparing wisely and continually anticipating danger.

When anxiety becomes overwhelming, the future may begin to feel like something we must survive before it has even arrived.

And in trying to control what has not yet happened, we may lose our ability to experience what is happening now.

The future deserves thoughtful preparation.

But it does not need to occupy every moment of the present.

When Presence Becomes an Invitation

Perhaps this is why becoming present is such a meaningful part of healing.

Presence does not mean forgetting our past.

It does not mean pretending that painful experiences never happened.

It does not mean denying our fears or simply telling ourselves to think positively.

Presence invites us to recognise where we are right now.

It gently helps us distinguish between a memory and a present experience.

That happened then. This is happening now. What I felt was real. But I can begin noticing what is true and available to me in this moment.

Sometimes that awareness begins with something very simple.

Feeling our feet resting on the ground. Noticing the chair beneath us. Listening to the sounds around us. Recognising our breathing. Looking around and identifying what is familiar and safe.

These moments of grounding do not erase trauma or resolve every difficulty. For some people, becoming present can initially feel uncomfortable, and support may be needed.

But gentle, appropriate grounding can help us reconnect with our surroundings and create room for greater emotional awareness.

And as we become more aware, we may begin recognising the difference between what belongs to yesterday and what belongs to today.

Becoming Aware of His Presence

For me, presence also carries a beautiful spiritual meaning.

Throughout Scripture, we encounter the God who reveals Himself as “I AM.”

The God who was faithful yesterday remains faithful today.

And the future we cannot yet see is not beyond His care.

Within our Christian journey, we can become so occupied with what has happened or what might happen that we lose awareness of His presence in the moment we are living.

We may continue praying about yesterday. We may plead with God about tomorrow. Yet overlook the quiet invitation to meet Him here, today.

Perhaps becoming present is also about becoming more attentive to His presence.

Not because God is absent when we are anxious or overwhelmed.

Not because we must achieve perfect emotional calm before approaching Him.

But because we can begin noticing His sustaining grace in the middle of our ordinary experiences.

In the stillness. In the uncertainty. In the moments when we do not have all the answers. And even in the places where healing remains unfinished.

We do not have to resolve yesterday or control tomorrow before bringing ourselves honestly before God today.

When Healing Finds Room to Breathe

Perhaps healing is not always about changing what happened.

Sometimes it begins by changing how we relate to what happened.

The past can gradually become something we remember rather than something we continually relive.

The future can become something we prepare for rather than something we constantly fear.

And the present can become a place where we begin recognising our choices, our needs, our relationships and the opportunities available to us.

We may still carry painful memories. We may still face uncertainty. We may still need time, compassion and appropriate support.

But we can begin learning to return.

To this moment. To ourselves. To the relationships that offer safety and connection. And to the awareness that God meets us where we are.

The present moment is not where trauma wins. It is where healing finds room to breathe.

Perhaps presence begins with a simple recognition:

I cannot change what happened yesterday. I cannot live tomorrow before it arrives. But I can become aware of where I am today.

And within that awareness, there may be room for clarity. Room for compassion. Room for hope. And room for the gentle work of healing.

A Moment to Explore

When you notice your thoughts and emotions moving towards yesterday’s pain or tomorrow’s fears, what might help you gently return to the present and become more aware of God’s presence with you today?

LovePatch Reflections | CRCTC

Embracing Change. Choosing Your Way Forward.

Vilia Y. Reynolds